My name is Norman Dog, and my new book “I Made Millions Selling Ebooks (About How I Made Millions Selling Ebooks) And So Can YOU!” reveals the secrets of how you can make millions selling ebooks about selling ebooks, like me!
For centuries, publishing has been controlled by a shadowy unelected Wordocracy, who with their “literacy”, “standards” and “dictionaries” have locked out “Average Joes” like you and me from the life of wealth, power and adulation enjoyed by published authors. But now digital technology makes it possible for anyone to get rich publishing their very own ebooks! Why not join us!
Even if you’ve never published a book before – even if you’ve never read a book – you can learn the Secrets Of Publishing that the fat cats of “Big Book” don’t want you to know! Secrets like:
How to find plenty of ready-to-publish words (or as we pros call it, “content) on the internet – free! Let Wikipedia write your ebook for you!
How to use “Anti-Social Media” to monetize your relationships, and turn ‘friendship’ into hard cash!
Why Ben Franklin is the only self-publisher to be pictured on American money!
And much much more!
If you read only one book in your entire life, make it this one!
Praise for “I Made Millions Selling Ebooks
(About How I Made Millions Selling Ebooks)
And So Can YOU!”
“If they’d had computers back in my day I could have published an ebook. Those bloody stone tablets were heavy! Thank God for Norman Dog!”
Dr. Doofus isn’t a doctor, he just plays one in the comics. This comic strip is the story of Fred Clark, who plays the title character in a bad comic strip called “Dr. Doofus”. Watch as he grapples with success, failure, stardom, art, commerce, and bad jokes, in a soul-searing examination of the human experience that rivals Samuel Beckett for hilarity and Ernie Bushmiller for profundity. Originally serialized in the “East Bay Express”, it has been lovingly compiled and reformatted for this exclusive ebook edition.
[pullquote]Only $.99! Available for Kindle and Nook![/pullquote]
29 years ago, more or less, a collection of cartoons from the weekly feature Bad Habits was published, to the world’s general indifference. Now you can enjoy it all over again, for the very first time! Relive those halcyon days of yesteryear, the ’80s!
At the peak of its renown, Bad Habits appeared in a handful of weeklies, including the Chicago Reader, San Diego City Paper, Washington City Paper, Baltimore City Paper, Phoenix New Times, The Stranger, as well as the East Bay Express and many other weeklies. Spin Magazine reprinted them for a year or so, a few appeared in RAW,and handful of strips were printed in Weirdo. If any of that made sense, this is the book for you!
Featuring such hallmarks of “New Wave” cartooning as:
- “Ironic” art style
- “Snarky” attitude
- No set format or characters, just a personal “take” on life
- Published in “Alternative” weeklies
- Brutal over-use of “scare quotes”
Specially formatted to enhance the eBook reading experience!
Controversy erupted recently over a new edition of Mark Twain’s “The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn.” It attempts to make this classic of American literature more acceptable in today’s school curriculums by deleting the so-called “N-Word”, which appears over 200 times in the original text.
Intrigued by this concept, and sensing an exciting marketing opportunity, We at Puzzled Squirrel slapped together our own exclusive edition of Huck Finn, which goes even further in updating this great but flawed masterpiece to suit modern sensibilities.
[pullquote]This is the “Huckleberry Finn” that Mark Twain would almost certainly write if he were alive today, and had a lobotomy.[/pullquote]
“The New, Improved Adventures of Huckleberry Finn” the exclusive new eBook from Puzzled Squirrel Press, is guaranteed to be significantly less offensive than all other brands combined! Using the latest state-of-the-art word processing technology, we have spared all expense to lovingly craft the “Huckleberry Finn” that Mark Twain would almost certainly write if he were alive today, and had a lobotomy.
Like the NewSouth edition, we too have replace “That Word We Mean When We Say ‘The N-Word’” with “N-Word”. But that’s not all! We address head-on such hot-button issues as:
- TEEN SMOKING!
- STEREOTYPING OF NATIVE AMERICANS!
- INTERRACIAL SEX!
- AND MUCH MORE!
CELEBRITY BONUS:To make the story more relevant and fun for teens: Pop sensation JUSTIN BIEBER appears in the place of Tom Sawyer!
With a handsome new cover and introduction by Norman Dog, eBook design from unBound eBooks, and text (mostly) by Mark Twain, this is one book that you and your family will treasure for generations to come! And if not, just let us know and we’ll rewrite it for you!